Island Hashes Reports for 2024
©2024 The Isle of Wight Hash House Harriers www.iwhhh.org.uk
On Back to the 2023 Reports…
Jan-Mar |
Sun 7-Jan-24 IWH3 2005
(In 2005, Pubs can stay open all day; but Hare coursing is banned - good news for Hash layers then... On the Island, Coops and Hursley Hash lead us AwayDay to Brockenhurst; Bart lays "Run 1066 and All That", from Henry VIII's bar; and many go to Nash Hash in Norfolk) The First Run of the Year, and "Not So Much of a Run, more a Life-Changing Experience - All for Only Two Pounds" was offered by Hares JimJams and Bushwacker from the seemingly innocuous Godshill Car Park. Old hands smiled as we set off round the prophetic 'Munsley Bog' - prophetic terrain for this area. The slower gloopy run pace was such that the bogged-down Longs failed to meet-up with the Shorts at Oates' BeerStop by Freemantle Gate. Then the mud deepened, as we crossed to Sainham - but no-one complained: Poca remarking that it was "Just like a Spa Day - but cheaper!". The Shorts waded back first and, after change of shoes, were quickly led by P-Rick out of the cold and into the Griffin while, some time later, Shergar celebrated the welcome end of the Long Trail in the car park, noting that Boycey was a persistent faller, and that naughty boys Pump and JimJams were 'mud-fighting'.
Sun 14-Jan-24 IWH3 2006
(In 2006 The Queen is 80; The BBC's 'Grandstand' ends after nearly 50 years on air; Film Icon, Daniel Craig, has his Bond debut in Casino Royale, as a tornado hits London. Hashwise, Icon P-Rick leads the Vectis Lunatics Full Moon Hash hits London to run with the 'Friday 13th H3', SLASH, and London H3; On the Island, Balders kicks off the Run 1111 'Scout' Weekend; we are 21 Years Old; and many go to InterHash, in Chiang Mai) Up on the spectacular St Catherine's Down, another great Run from Bart, leading off from the Viewpoint CarPark. Essentially anti-clockwise (the Hare advised "keep the PepperPot on your left!"), the Shorts got to the top, then dropped into the valley before visiting the Hoy Monument and back. The Longs went a bit further, out towards Niton, then a wider loop rewarded by a Oates BeerStop at the Hermitage. And what a turnout! Noting Hash unwillingness to look for car parking in Niton, the RA prepared a few DDs and noted a pervading 'doggie' theme - key player being Mongrel, welcome back after many years; she was joined by Boycey with a bad back, verified by her own personal vet; "Lost Boy" was Mutiny, just after claiming "I know this area...", but he did bring a fair few Virgins to swell our numbers; then Groyney for "causing major male competition", eventually choosing Pump, not Gis, to lift her dog over a stile - still, "one Humper drinks...".
Sat 20-Jan-24 Bash 087
This was Fagin from Calbourne Rec. A lovely, and relatively mud-free trail, leading out to Newbridge, then Chessel and up to the Longstone for Port and Shortbread. Down again to the ThreeBishops, a quick visit to the Crown, up to the Limerstone TrigPoint and Back for Apres in the Sun Inn.
Sun 21-Jan-24 IWH3 2007
(In 2007, a smoking ban comes into effect in all enclosed public places in England; HS1 opens; and {I've started so I'll finish} Magnus Magnusson dies at 78. On the Island, the Inaugural Hash Sports Day at the Vine Inn, St Helens; The FullMoon go to Brittany; FullMoon NashHash at Ebley; NashHash in Milton Keynes; and an AwayDay from Beaulieu Road to Brockenhurst) Outside the smart new Goddards Brewery, the Hash thanked TheCat for a rather sanitised report in the Local Rag, before we set forth on Geri's local tour. All well till Apse Heath till the Hare and 'Local Boy' DoorKnob lost the Pack around Newchurch, where Poubelle noticed that, at the Skinners Lane 'Beware of the Bull' sign, Bart was sent first.... Yet the Pigeon Instinct kicked in and all got back to savour the Ales in the bar, where the RA remembered "Dirty Girl" Busty; Birthdays for Mark and LoadingBay (managing to down a mere foot of Ale); then a possible naming of "JobInHood" after a mislaid poo-bag was found, as described by yet another poem; Shergar had sent all back on a line of paint, but FFire just ignored it; Shocker was the token Lost Hound: "I live here", so we sang "Show me the way to go home!". Finally, the Hare, assisted? by DoorKnob, for "An Excellent Run", accoladed by our version of "The Mayor of Bayswater".
Wed 24-Jan-24 VLFM 265
LunchBox was Hare from the Olde Village Inne at Bembridge, for the "The Burns Night Scupper!" Trail. LunchBox Hare; Poser RA.
Sun 28-Jan-24 IWH3 2008
(In 2008, Boris Johnson, defeats Ken Livingstone to become Mayor of London and, in the FA Cup, Portsmouth beat Cardiff 1–0. In February, we celebrate Run 1200 from the Chequers Inn; Canalboats from Trowbridge in April; Snowman and Fireball celebrate their Anniversary with the 'May The Fourth' run; our 25th Birthday Weekend is at Kite Hill, Wootton; and lots of themed Runs and BBQs!) From the Ventnor Botanic Gardens, the only way is Up - or is it? Hares Streaker and Frigamortis, aided by BeerPump, promised the Hash would go below a certain level but they did. The path through Pelham Woods led us nearly to Whitwell Road, with every angle in little-used gloomy ways. FriendlyFire had brought Nick and Max; Poca brought Jason. Apres in the Car Park, the RA remarked that the Car Park meters were "too high Tech for many" and gave appropriate chastisement; 'ForkHandles' were Tumbler "tumbling", JimJams "widdling", "brightest of Hashers" BeerPump; and "frightened" Dildoh! Finally Groyney was up after "grim forebodings of the Crab" at which our Hare had actually booked tables!
Sun 4-Feb-24 IWH3 2009
(Nothing changes... In 2009, A number of MPs from all parties are either suspended or announce their resignations due to the expenses scandal. Several weeks later almost 100 MPs will have announced that they would not stand at the next general election. The IWH3 do a Burns Supper Hash at the Winter Gardens; St Georges Day; EuroHash in Turkey; Scottish NashHash; narrowboats on the K&A; and two Vineyard Hashes convince Surrey H3 that Isle of Wight wine is undrinkable!) After Curly and Obliviars led us on a short trail around East Cowes, we quickly got back to the Prince of Wales for pre-AGM complimentary Hash Grub and LoadingBay's Swan Song... Up first was TheCat for carrying on-run secateurs and a BDay; Mutiny paid using Euros. Dildoh! nearly came to grief being run over by an 85 year-old lady. And then the Final Poem (You wish!) regarding blame for the RA's late arrivals being solely due to Poubelle. With "fewer runners than dogs", Stalker and JimJams were selected as chief fishuke abusers. Noze never found the Hash. And a Naming for "Hashing in Pink" went to 'DirtyBarbie'. Then the Hares, with some assistance from Geri.
Then the AGM, introduced by LoadingBay, having an "Out with the Old and In with the New" DD with retiring GM, Coops, who thanked just about everyone and everywhere for making those 2023 Hashes special, and gave a final plea that we must be 'One Hash' albeit with different abilities. A short note then from Gis about finances which continue to decline, but not fast enough for some!
The RA chaired Matters for Discussion, and "Gaining and Retaining New Running Members" getting a surprising number of Hashers up on their feet to discuss the motion put forward by JimJams. Most agreed that we needed to raise our profile a bit and the New Committee should progress this. On shows of hands from those present, Sundays were slightly favoured over a potential change to Monday evenings in the Summer Months; and, if Sundays, most favoured keeping the 11am start rather than earlier. These votes were advisory to the New Committee.
The Elections confirmed the single candidates, as advertised: GM: Suction; HareRaiser: BusStripper; Cash: Gis; Scribe: Coops; Haberdash: P-Rick; Other Committee Members: Obliviars & JimJams; and finally our RA is now Bouncer.
Sun 11-Feb-24 IWH3 2010
(In 2010, the country is once again deluged by heavy snowfall as it endures its worst cold spell since the winter of 1981–82. Here, FiveBar & LipsOn nearly drown us in freezing water at Yarbridge, and Coops takes us through deep snow at Princelett; we enjoy 'Musical Hashes', 'Green Runs' and a 'Fort Walk Hash'). OnOff we went from the Dairyman's Daughter "Over hill and down dale", with Poca leading us on a generally anticlockwise tour over towards Perreton but then back up for a final loop across the downs. Busty gave thanks to Poca "who has only been Hashing five minutes and is already laying her 2nd Hash!"; RA Curly made a mention of LoadingBay's theatre appearance in a domestic drama, where Hooker asked for "similar cases of domestic abuse to be taken into account"; and a welcome back to PussyGalore, with Nevasawus and Bellender.
Someone pointed out that Hashers in London had just run the 'Gispert Memorial Run' today, in memory of The Founder of the Hash House Harriers, A.S. Gispert, who died on the 11 February 1942 whilst defending Singapore. His memorial is in Brockley Cemetery, not far from the Brockley Brewery.
Sat 17-Feb-24 Bash 088
An appropriate and unassuming Bash from Mash and Gis, who worked together to plan a route from Carisbrooke Castle Field via Marvel Lane to our Port Stop at Merstone. On up the cycle route to Godshill, but then via Merryl Lane and Bagwich to regroup at The Chequers.
Sun 18-Feb-24 IWH3 2011
(2011. An unusual year where the England cricket team wins the 2011 Ashes series 3–1 in Australia. On the Island, the Hash celebrate Burns Night, we go to the Brecon Canal, Addis Ababa, Jurassic NashHash, we do Run1400, a Summer Ball and a Christmas Ball) "Won't be much flour left!" admitted Stalker, welcoming us to his Hash from the Chequers, site of one of his previous debacles. We shot off south down the road, the Long Trail going south for a bit, the Shorts going for the river crossing on the way to Cridmore. "What crossing?" was the cry as both trails found the bridge had broken its moorings and was floating tantalisingly a few yards north of its installed position. Nonplussed, the Hashers leapt from bank to bough and crossed - apart from an unexpected 'dip' from Dippy! The Long runners even had time for Suction to perform "personal grooming" on BDK and Buttercup while waiting to cross. Assistant Hare, Boycey, had a little help in reducing the Short Trail at the start, but then allowed the short Pack to wander round the rest of the laid Trail to Loverstone, and back over the river, where Buttercup did a few lengths of the Medina, and back through Harts Farm. All celebrated by an inclusive Bouncer, recognising the return of 'Bionic' Fracas and a welcome to Virgins Buttercup and Yvette; then Sukkers, who remembered Birthdays for Stalker, DoorKnob, Tumbler, and P-Rick.
Wed 21-Feb-24 VLFM 266
Was from The Vine at Freshwater; Hare was Sweater and the West Wight Road Runners joined us.
Sun 25-Feb-24 IWH3 2012
(2012 was the Queen's Diamond Jubilee; also 4G is launched, enabling chavs to make video calls in the High Street; and it's the second-wettest year on record in the UK - That rain gave us lots of Muddy Runs, but also a Burns Night, an April Fools Weekend, then Green, Bluebell, Musical and Trafalgar Runs; a BarnDance and a Christmas Ball) There's something about a new Venue that puts everyone in a good mood - both on the Run and the Apres. We met at the Reynolds & Read car park on Newman Road, under the careful leadership of Poubelle and LoadingBay, Hares and part-time car park attendants. Booming over the sudden inception of the Site alarm, Bouncer welcomed guests from North Wilts H3, Floozy and Goose, together with Virgins, LunchBox, and Roy and Tahnee; as we set off across the Common, with the long Run getting an early BeerStop courtesy of Ganges and Kanga - though Poubelle somehow mixed them up! Across the main road and we all regrouped to meet Oates again at the Church. It was much warmer in The Cedars, and welcome chips accompanied the RA's summary of a highly entertaining Day: Stalker's memorable Birthday; the Long-Short Contraflow, where P-Rick's dog caused injury to LunchBox; our Virgins; then Busty blaming Bouncer's excessive whinging for setting off the alarm. Finally, the late arrival of Magoo - definite proof that Old Hashers just go On and On!
Sat 2-Mar-24 Party
The Daffodil Dinner at the Sun Inn Calbourne. Thanks for all you yellow-adorned Hashers who supported this fine event!
Sun 3-Mar-24 IWH3 2013
(In 2013, Andy Murray becomes the first British man to win Wimbledon since Fred Perry in 1936. The IWHHH do a Green Run; there's a Political Run; A Geminians Run; A Musical Hash; An Abbey Run; the LargePortion Memorial Run; a run over the Pontcysyllte Aqueduct; and our 30th Birthday!) Well done to Suckers & Mash, for entertaining a large field of 43, of all abilities, from the Ambassador at Gunville. A distracting false trail to Alvington Manor got us back and up Down Lane, and around Bowcombe Down before returning via the 'waterbed' at Clatterford. First off, the RA thanked all for supporting the new Landlords of the Sun Inn at our 'Daffodil Dinner', featuring "Three Stomachs" Sweater racing Bouncer through the chocolate cake; Geri for "Matching Balloons"; FannyMac for a shop fight with the RA over a yellow top that he didn't even wear; Sucktion for some obscure reason; and Gottla for "Pie Theft"! As regards the current day's activities, our Hares were up, with some witty lines to the "The Ashgrove"; then Visitors: BirthingBlanket from Guildford H3, DoggyStyle from WessexH3, and Hooker from Sandown; Virgins were James and Debbie, and also Hannah and Laura [with Gottla]; Obliviars caught Gnasher lost in the Argos Car Park; and just as the RA thought it was All Over, Sukkers kindly pointed out that his wellies were rather new... What will we do for Fun when the Wet Season ends?
Sun 10-Mar-24 IWH3 2014
(In 2014, part of the South Devon Railway sea wall is washed away by a powerful storm; yet 2014 was the UK's warmest year since records began with an average 9.9C; Jonny Wilkinson plays his final rugby match in Britain before retiring from the sport. Here we enjoy Oates' Mad Hatters Party; Australia Day; and another Green Run). And Bouncer had made a few notes about our Mothers Day Outing from Smallbrook Stadium: DoorKnob led the Longs out north towards Swanmore, then crossing the railway line, back towards Pennyfeathers, Busybee, the golf club - from there to Whitefield Wood, RokeMead Copse, crossing Monksmead and OnInn to the Stadium, a distance of 5.5mls, and mostly mud! Shocker took the Shorts on 3ml walk, incorporating a good bit of shiggy too! Back at the High Park, the RA produced Ferrero Rocher for the Hash Mums; Up then were the Hares, while Shergar noted that DoorKnob was a "Mudaholic", and that from henceforth, Mothering Sunday, should be named "Mudderday"; Stalker and Caz, for the 2nd coming of new shoes, and for Caz, being a Sunday virgin! Wormy for toiletry issues (a turtle head, apparently...) and Scary a welcome returnee; Oates for complaining about a free jar of Red Thai curry paste, that it was out of date, joined by MrMagoo, for overhearing the moan, and dobbing him in!
Sat 16-Mar-24 Bash 089
The Bashers were out in Full on 16th March, meeting at Pedallers for another "Big Bash Breakfast". Then came the cycling, and Shergar then led the bulging Pack, with Bash Virgins Paul and Sue, around Adgestone but then back to Kern and a Port Stop at Horringford. It was either straight back to The Pointer, or an optional loop via Mackets Lane. The Hare was the RA who thanked all, and condemned a few, for taking part in his Chocolate Treasure Hunt.
Sun 17-Mar-24 IWH3 2015
(In 2015, we have a General Election, England hosts the Rugby World Cup but don't win, but they do manage to win the Ashes. On the Island, we ran the 256th birthday of Robert Burns; did Beer Fests, and a Summer Ball; and quite a few went off to EuroHash Krakow, Oxford NashHash; Fethiya 10yrs; and Alternative InterHash in Edinburgh) Inventive as ever, Fagin had planned yet another Excitement from Jubilee Car Park and the Theme was St Patrick's Day. The Green Pack, resplendent in Paddy Hats, were treated to Mash's dubious Green Liqueur. before we set off, through thick mist, in search of Hidden Treasure Tokens! The well-designed route dropped down to Strawberry Lane, with just a few Refusals on the steep, muddy, downhill bits. Both Packs made it to the Longstone, just in time for the first treasure hunt. More of the same followed as we climbed up around Mottistone Down and In. Apres, we gave Thanks to the Sun Inn for still being a Jolly Good Pub, not to mention the Guinness Offer at £3.50 a pint that formed the RA's DDs, thanking Hares Fagin, BullsEye and Dodger, with some speedy assistance from Bart; forgettable chaos then ensued as the "finders of treasure" were rewarded with more Green Stuff; much to the amusement of our two Virgins, Daniella and Ed; LoadingBay apparently did "all the fishukes AND walked up the hill past the Runners!"; then Sweater for "Carrying his Mutt through the mud", the GM for abusing BeerPump as a "Gorilla in the Mist", and lastly Shergar as the only Irishman NOT to wear Green: "To be sure, it's only for the Tourists!" he claimed.
Sun 24-Mar-24 IWH3 2016
(In 2016, the Hatton Garden burglars were found to be all over 60 - bit like some of us then; In Rio, TeamGB finish second in the Olympics medal table. The IWHHH managed to get in not only a Spring Ball, but also the highly memorable Medieval Weekend at Brading. We went to Yorkshire, Bicester, Exeter, Shetlands, Bali InterHash and the Edinburgh Alternative) East Cowes is alright for a Town Hash - that is if you don't mind changing your Kecks in the street. A classical R#n but sadly, a bit of a swansong for the Victoria Tavern, soon to be closed. This was a Hash in Two Trails that did not meet, but had their own characteristics. Dippy and Lairy led the Shorts on an intricate zig-zagging Historic Location Tour from the High Street and Seafront, finding East Cowes Castle round the back alleys of Sylvan Drive. Meanwhile Sweater took the Longs and set off for West Cowes, soon falling foul of the Winter timetable of the Floating Bridge which, after a couple of visits to Northwood Park, and to Gurnard Esplanade, got them back inn over two hours, Acting RA, Shergar, welcomed Visitors DrDeaf and LickAllSorts, now of Essex H3, and our semi-regular MagnumPI sporting some smart shoes, thanked the Hares, called Gis up for "Skip-diving", BeerPump for being "over inventive with fishukes", and a WellDone to ThaiGa for diligent checking on the Short Trail.
Wed 27-Mar-24 VLFM 267
And Wednesday saw a new VLFM Venue, yet unvisited by any Hash, the Plough and Barleycorn at Shanklin - a perfect location for a winter's Hash. Our Hare, shortly to be named "ComeALot" and assisted by DirtyGirl had done the Homework, and led around the back of Regent Street to the Old Village, BigMead, LowerHyde with a well-marked 4.3m Trail. Sweater, after letting attendees in early for the GNSR, was RA and celebrated the Hares, and welcomed Visitors DrDeaf and LickAllSorts from Essex; then Shergar on 150 R#ns; BeerPump as "a persistent offender in public micturition!"; then the Ethics Committee reported: Alfred with "a tiny red light"; Suction enjoying calling out Pen15's name; and Buttercup and Speedy for "unabashed grooming"! And finally, Wormy dobbed Sweater for "Not thanking the Bar Staff" AND "forgetting it was a Worm Moon"!
Sun 31-Mar-24 IWH3 2017
(2017 - Britain goes a full day without using coal power to generate electricity for the first time since the Industrial Revolution; the Duke of Edinburgh retires from public duties at 96; and Coventry is named UK City of Culture - Have you been there? Here, we have a Burns Supper and Dance; Easter Bonnets on the Downs; a Dad's Army Party in Shanklin; then Halloween and Christmas) An eggstremely busy Hash on Ventnor Downs was egged-on by Groyney, who stood up and gave a long eggsplanation of the trail. The eggcited Hashers ran off, forgetting what they'd been told, and had an Eggsasperating Time following the Eggsellent markings, down to a chocolate hunt in Wroxall Copse, then Wroxall Manor Farm, down east of the village, crossing the road at the Donkeys. The hardier who'd done the worst of the shiggy, even got up the Freemantle. We'd welcomed back a host of returnees, including Paul/Amanda, OxfordDippy, MaBaker, MagnumPi, Incest, Lolita, Philth, Vegas. For those who couldn't stand the mud, it was a long wait for, first, an errant Sod getting back in 1:45, shortly followed by the Longs in 1:55 but a cold wait awaited these for the Shorts arrival at 2hrs20. The RA, once recovered, thanked Hares Groyney and GotAll (who lied about the trail length); Nosey and Lolita as token "Truffle Hunters"; Barbara, a Virgin introduced by Bouncer, who used "the wrong loo at the Donkeys"; then MagnumPI who thought that the best place to put chocolate was in her bra. Then a race to the Volly where Nosey was first to claim the Last Egg.
(2018 The French loan us the Bayeux Tapestry; Elton John retires after fifty years on the road; first scheduled direct flight from Australia to the UK; London's murder rate surpasses that of New York; and 1.9 billion watch Harry and Meghan's wedding. The IWHHH have a Pancake Night; a Bluebell Run; a Steam Run; our 35th Birthday in Whitwell; a Beach Party; a Musical Hash; and a weekend on the Grand Union Canal) A pleasant and entertaining change to a new venue at Shalfleet for Hares Mash and Gis; but the shiggy was as normal, and deep as we squelched our way south along the bank of the swollen Caul Bourne stream. There was a shortcut back on the old railway line but most persisted to Newbridge, and beyond, before a boggy return - some five miles, that "felt like ten". Luckily Oates, who's already intercepted the Hash, was back to welcome us at the Church Green where Gis (again) presided over an incomplete Hash - caused by over-enthusiasm of most of our walkers: OxfordDippy appeared claiming that the Hover was not delayed by the wind, and some debate ensued as to why it was too windy for our Yotties!; Our Virgin was Dan brought by DirtyBum; then, as Buttercup was getting a DD for not paying, his money arrived with the next tranche of walkers to return; "Ageism" was rife as the World's oldest man was identified as a Scouse and we all thought it was PoorSod - up with New Granny, Mash. "OpenRA" now, and P-Rick quickly named "Beaver"; DoorKnob celebrated (?) two Dippys; Sodders identified Gnasher who, when asked "Got your Rego?", recited her car number; and, as Shergar got in the next bad joke, the last walkers squished in...
Sat 13 Apr-24 Bash 090
Groyney's Bash from Goddards Brewery - for some an expectation of a nice lunch rather than a challenging trail - but somehow the Hare got in some very unexpected shiggy which had a few off their saddles. Leading off towards Newchurch, the trail soon turned and it was Macketts Lane and Bobberstone before reaching the cyclepath and the Port Stop. An easy leg to Sandown and short relief in The Castle. A circuit of Adgestone led back to the Venue where followed DDs and lunch.
Sun 14-Apr-24 IWH3 2019
(In 2019 The Duke of Edinburgh, 97, crashes his car; London's Ultra Low Emission Zone comes into effect; 5G starts; Prince Andrew steps down; and Boris steps up. The Hash Year starts normally and we have a St Georges Barn Dance, we celebrate R#n1805 with a Trafalgar Event at HMS Victory, and many do EuroHash and NashHash both in Scotland) So, Bouncer reports from St Helens: BeerPump was to be the Hare for this his Birthday Run but, with him being incapacitated, PropShaft very ably stood up to the challenge. Setting off from The Green, we headed across Goose Green, out towards Attrill's Lane, Park Farm and then into Nettlestone, where Oates greeted us with our familiar beer stop. From there, out towards the Priory Bay Hotel, and then straight back to St Helens, crossing Eddington Road, ending up at Hillgrove, where the Hares had rented a caravan! We made ourselves At Home, and celebrated: the Hares - BeerPump & PropShaft; our Virgin - Jaquie; "The Hurdlers" - Gnasher (for gate-hurdling) and Shergar (for connections to the Grand National!); then the following - Gisbert, Bart, Mash and Stalker - were severely dobbed-in by PropShaft, for not following/losing her trail! ~Bouncer
Sat 20-Apr-24 Party
This year saw a welcome return for the Hash Barn Dance at Wootton Community Centre. Nearly fifty of you got your St Georges Garb on and danced the night away to LoadingBay and the Caulkhead Ceilidh Band. And relief from the chaos of the dancefloor was brought by the first ever IWHHH "Chilli Off" featuring a selection of five Hash Chefs presenting a varied choice of meals for comparison.
Sun 21-Apr-24 IWH3 2020
(In 2020, Harry & Meghan announce that they plan to "step back as senior members" of the United Kingdom's royal family - didn't think they had a choice! Covid starts in China; and life-expectancy stops going up. The IWHHH support The Febrewery Run from Goddards Ryde & Friendly Frolic at The Bargemans. Then Covid hit for 3 months but we bounced back "Socially Separated" in isolated spots! In September we commemorated long-serving Hasher Tanglefoot in Niton. Then Lockdown2 happened!) Over forty would-be R#nners huddled around the Newchurch Car Park for Curly & Obliviars' Trail - yet DoorKnob, blatantly wearing some unsoiled shoes, was unable to hide this Fact. Two interlacing routes led our Packs through the new woodland to Burnt House Lane and on to the Waterworks; the longs managing a leg up though Adgestone and back past Alverstone Mill and Home. The Pointer Inn Garden was delightful - and we almost filled it. Finally, Bouncer presented "The Sins of The Day", and "The Aftermath of the Night Before": Up came DoorKnob, filling his new shoes; our Hares; then LoadingBay, still attempting to get our Hash Barn Dance Troupe to get the infamous Clapping Routine right - they failed again; Buttercup admitted to "Brain Death" when trying to remember more than one movement; then the "Chilli Merchants" Oates, Obliviars, Curly, Gottla & Geri; and a special mention for "Chief Grinder" Curly on the cheese, for which we were very grate-ful! On the Run, BeerPump and Shocker were the usual SCBs; Gabby was our Virgin; and Finally, Busty stood up and revealed that she and P-Rick had a Romantic Evening at Quay Arts - until he set off the fire alarms!
Wed 24-Apr-24 VLFM 268
Coops was the Hare for a 65min trail from the Wheatsheaf Brading, theoretically a good R#n to visit the bluebells in Eaglehead Copse, and again in Kellys Copse. But possibly the first trail where r#nners were grateful for the "Health and Safety" warnings at the start as the underfoot was indeed "not wet" but had dried out to an ankle-turning moonscape in the cow fields around Nunwell. Apart from the Flora, the Trail, returning over Ashey Down, was rewarded with a superb sunset. We near-filled the Pub, where Sweater was RA (again) and started with a successful Second-hand Clothes Store - all sold. A Birthday Drink for newly-named ComeALot; Tania was the "Pink Mooner"; then, a Special Edition of Antiques Road Show, where the Mystery Moon Mug, reportedly "Found in a Charity Shop" got a higher than expected Auction Bid by NozeJob; Our Hare next for "Mud", but not pliable, "Mud"; it was up to Suktion to confess that she found BeerPump "prettier from behind", while Shergar did an ace "Commando Roll" and Busty was "Running uphill to the Ancient Port of Brading"; we thanked our Bar-lady Maria with water and got the fastest DD of the night; Fracas was returnee and token "StGeorge"; LunchBox had ignored the "No Petting" protocol; and Good News for HankyPanky who'd been late up so missed the GNSR Entry, but just made it off Waiting List in the repêchage: "Get a Life!"
Sun 28-Apr-24 IWH3 2021
(In 2021, the Island rates low on the Covid Scale, so everyone comes here! The Hash didn't start until April and then we were downlands, woods, and other isolated places. By June there was a Beer Festival, and we're in gardens by July. The Christmas Party was saved!) Another Exciting Episode of "Trails of The Unexpected" was a solo Gisbo effort from the Eight Bells, with the Ford, as expected, but then not around the Castle. Watergate Road took the Longs to meet the Shorts below Nunnery Lane, then over to Whitecroft Farm for our rendezvous with Oates giving sustenance before ascending to, and descending via, Dark Lane. Then, Not the Castle again, as we took Froglands Lane and the ford OnInn. Summer must have arrived as we chose to sit outside to hear LoadingBay, as RA, condemn the obscene "Bestyality's Best" from Mutiny and Curly's excited dogs; Oblivious was shocked; Bart inadvertently heard mention of a late lamented Hasher; then another attempt to get PoorSod to rhyme "Town" with "Down", before another RA joke; more private parts now as Busty observed the imprint that Sweater made on his chair; Poubelle for unpredictability of her appearances and, indeed, of predicting bluebell shows; Our Hare for a Trail which was "Rubbish", "Short", and "Dubious"; then we met Nadia who was to feature The Hash in the local Parish Mag - Poubelle remarked that they were normally used to the Front Page of the County Press!
Sat 4-May-24 Bash 091
So another Groyney 'RideOut' - this time not going further than the Beer Fest at Havenstreet - after, of course, the obligatory breakfast at Peddlars... Most went up the hill to the Steam Railway, but the more adventurous took in a few Arreton farms, while the roadsters went hard-surface via Brading. Efforts were rewarded.
Sun 5-May-24 IWH3 2022
(In 2022, It's the warmest New Year's Day on record; We change PMs and Monarchs; The UK starts to recover. On the Hash, everything was almost back to normal... The Friendly Frolic, Birthday Hashes, St Georges, even Bluebells! We met WalkTheWight and did a Christmas Party) With our fit Hare Poubelle called away, we were entertained by LoadingBay, self-confessing that he was "somewhat wilted like the proverbial bluebells" but nevertheless gave us a trail avoiding the worst of the mires in Combley Woods. It was the Sunday of the Havenstreet Beer Festival and we expectantly sought the Trail with Visitors TurnOff & DeepLunge, who'd brought Virgin Matt, using the track to Knights Cross and then the higher parts of the Wood. We quickly entered the Festival, where a better class of beer awaited, found a remote corner and listened to the RA celebrating the Hare, Visitors and Virgin, then Busty reportedly clutching "a bag of Dildo's"; then forgetful Mash trying to pay for ale with "an Arts Pass"; on the Trail Dippy, LoadingBay and Lairy were "lost in the Woods", while ThaiGa got "eaten by chickens"; we heard of Philth's expensive trip to Portsmouth (where they fine you for using Bus Lanes); then a final one for FriendlyFire "I never do anything wrong!"
Sun 12-May-24 IWH3 2023
The Trail was from Isle of Wight Pearl, on Military Road, Brighstone. The Hare (and Scribe) was Birthday Boy Bouncer, who laid a cracking Long Trail of 5.5mls, up to Grammars Wood, then crossing Strawberry Lane, up to the Long Stone. From there along the top towards Brook, then down to the Sun Inn, Hulverstone, and On Down back to the Coastal Path. With occasional meetings, the Shorts did a 3.5ml stroll, taking in Mottistone, and the Coastal Path OnInn. Apres, we reconvened at the Three Bishops, where the same certain person presided: with P-Rick, assistant RA, nominating another birthday boy, StirFry; Wormy: turning up late, and being overly-fussy for her 2024 shirt; and Lairy, for being scared of the cliff edge! The RA then nominated himself, both for being the Hare and Birthday! We welcomed Virgins: Heather & Jane; Returnees: Chaos, EyeTie and TwistedSister; and finally Sinner Curly: for dobbing in someone, who kicked out a fishhuke, but not knowing who it was!
Sun 19-May-24 IWH3 2024
(Welcome to 2024! Do hope you have enjoyed some of the Hash Historical Notes in our Reports - maybe some more Archive Stuff soon!) Every now and then we do go a little mad - but then we're all normal again on Monday morning - well most of us anyway. Such was the Grande Occasion of our Run 2024 in the Year 2024! BeerPump and PropShaft were charged with sorting out something appropriately mad, the venue was Newport, and the Theme was 'Whodunnit'. We-dunnit! With a Trail meandering around town, via just about every alleyway, our to Seaclose, the Quay, and more, our first stop was Wetherspoons for Cocktails. Most had the decency to listen to the Hare's Quiz, which basically gave Clues to a Crime - here based on extracting a Code from the Menu. Then more streets and the Crispin hove into view, with an accommodating landlady open before twelve - the Clue involved the 'Dog and Bone'. On next to the Prince of Wales - via the Mountain Warehouse lift where the Hashers were rejected as "too heavy". Downdowns were to start here and continue at the New Ming Chinese, where our "Clueless" Winners, exposing P-Rick as "The Murderer", were the masterminds of BullsEye, Jobbin, JustDebs and Obliviars - with "Bitchen" from Songmeister. Up too, our over-excited late-payers Busty and Coops; the sheer ignorance (of event details) Curly, Poubelle, Philth; and the Hares inc BeerPump, the Hash's Own 'Where's Wally?'. Scrummy lunch, at least five verses of "The Mayor of Bayswater", and more jollity followed.
Wed 22-May-24 VLFM 269
Smugglers Inn, Niton - Bart
Sat 25-May-24 Bash 092
Trigger's Awayday started off the 9:05 boat in Lymington, and essentially made our way up to Sway, to drop onto the old Southampton to Dorchester railway, mostly going up to Ringwood for refreshments. That then turned into the Castlemans Trailway all the way into Poole, where further refreshments were taken. Any problems fitting onto the train back were solved by a kindly guard who shepherded us all onto a train back to Brockenhurst.
Sun 26-May-24 IWH3 2025
Possibly the first Scarecrow Festival for the Hash - and not many were scared away! A Trail, and a Quiz lead us through a fascinating array of humorous mannequins in Chillerton, then off "Mincing through the Shiggy" before a beer stop in unusually dry Gatcombe and finding the way home. "Was there a Trail?" someone asked - Well, sort of... and a reasonable integration of long and short needs. Hares were BeerPump aided by Tim Marshall (who reportedly has laid more trails than run them!). We had returnees David and Heather, as well as the StirFry Family and Rambo. Apres was the garden of the Gallybagger, the real ale was soon dispatched and, after the band, the RA thanked to Hare who gave out the Prizes - No-one got them all (though many claimed so) and in the End it was Gis' Team that got 7/10 and the Bonus Question. Thanks to the Hares, particularly Tim on the pruning shears, and "attracting attention of police for bad parking"; Virgins Paul and Dan; then LoadingBay had noted Sukkers and Busty bending over after the R#n getting a "Nice Arse!" from a Civilian, but MrBay won on a vote; then RA> P-Rick, "The Murderer", cycled 130 miles; Speedy was back, and up with Visitors and Virgins; then Sukkers found after the R#n: "I couldn't be arsed to do the last bit so went round the scarecrows!"; EyeTie for "refusal at mud" while DirtyBum and virgin Tida took pains to "avoid mud antics"; then Pump and the RA for "buying too much DD beer" - so the DDs went on... with Sukkers nominating DilDoh! stopping on a Bash because of "Rattling Nuts" Etc Etc
Sun 2-Jun-24 IWH3 2026
Our now annual return to the Sheepdog Trials at Rowlands Farm, assembling in the sunny field for pre-ramblings from Busty and P-Rick. The latter, having been appointed to lead the Shorts, took us all round a few fields, circuiting West Ashey Farm, before returning to Site with time for a quick beer before the Apres. The Longs had persisted, and some form of trail passed Ashey Station, with a beer at Deacons Pond, before up to the Cemetery, and back down to Rowlands - well most of them did that Trail. In the Car Park the RA wasted no time in calling on the Songmeister to render a severe "Shitty Trail"; then Busty identified Poubelle and Fracas discussing the local topography of kneecaps, joined by Bouncer for a round of "Bones"; the RA continued, naming Sweater, whose dog pissed on Mash's bag last week; and then PitStop, a novice Biltong manufacturer: "Get a life!"; Finally the RA, in an unusual bout of literacy, marked down Philthy for using the term "a herd of sheep".
Sun 9-Jun-24 IWH3 2027
A short, and unassuming Trail from Mottistone, was laid by Shergar. As usual, a Grand Day Out on the Downs which led us on an excursion over towards the Longstone, then up and up into the forest, before a long loop back past Brook House. Shortcuts were available, and so we learnt the new Hashing term of "A Bifurcated Trail"! Not many Hashers today, but all had a wonderful time - despite the "Surprise Shiggy" at the end! Beer in the Car Park with Noze noting a mere, but gruelling, 4.1 miles. Very few misdemeanours on this hot day, so the RA thanked all for their "kind complimentary words" got up a few token sinners and the Hare, after downing his stubbie, told a cracker about darts and holidays! Then the Three Bishops, where we remembered all the sins we'd forgotten about!
7-9 Jun-24 Away
Bull Moon H3 100th R#n Celebrations
Sun 16-Jun-24 IWH3 2028
And Coops and Limpit were back laying a Trail from the Brading Wheatsheaf. Why always here? Maybe a good Pub, maybe a good Trail area? Joint beneficiaries of this experience were a fair number of Chichester Hashers, over on the boat for the day in time for the opening circle, a glimpse of the towering downland, and then off to the marshes. As ever, the Shorts were to cut corners on the Long Trail, which inevitably turned East to ascend Little Janes Lane. A shortish Trail but runners remarked that there was One Hill, and at least Two Climbs, as we dropped down through the shady woods to the Roman Villa, around Adgestone Farm, then back up past the Vineyard, after brief respite at Oates' welcome Beer Wagon. The Longs took the dry route down to Doctors Lane, while the Shorts inexplicably waded through the perennial mud to Beechgrove. Much food was waiting at the Apres, and Many Thanks were made to Cookies including Gottla, Oblivs, Mash & Limpit, as the RA remembered Fathers Day, and also Stalker's attempt to ground the boat on our last visit to Emsworth; for our guests, Splasher was dobbed by Bambi for "nicking" his possessions; Gis remarked on the GM's criticism of his "Running Style"; Stalker had brought Virgin Ian; then we remembered that Mash had told Alex to "Kick out the Check", and she obliterated the Whole Thing - getting a name "HappyFeet"!
Wed 19-Jun-24 VLFM 270
Geri led off from the Castle Sandown, going down to the beach and up Ferncliffe - nobody commenting that her last few trails had gone this way too... Up to The Heights, the Station, then off towards the Waterworks, Morton Common, ending in the tempting offer of a dip in the sea!
Sat 22-Jun-24 Bash 093
Trigger from Whitwell
Sun 23-Jun-24 IWH3 2029
The RA called the Hash to order at the Jubilee Car Park for a Trail by Hare, JimJams (Not Coops as some thought, as he was wandering around in a 2004 Cardiff InterHash Hare's TShirt to remind those who remembered that Twenty Years had elapsed since we hared a 200-strong pack on a seven-mile Trail from Blaenavon in the mountains to the Brecon Canal!). Moving on, DilDoh! made sure we knew all about next week's Run, then our Hare stepped up with a request to "keep an eye out" for his lost knee support, and slowly explained check-backs to Nozey. After some of the Best of Westover Down, "A Run of two Halves" commented Shergar - reckoning "Couldn't find the way out"; and "Couldn't find the way back"! But we ran 4.2 miles in-between, HaHa! Apres, Hares JimJams and Bushwacker dutifully had a Downdown each, for the pleasure of laying it. Bushwacker, found JimJams' the lost knee brace; then LoadingBay gave JimJams(again) and Stalker a Downdown for botanical desecration (treading on Pyramid Orchids); The RA then carried on with a DD for LasVegas, who managed to squeeze in a Hash between Queens, last week, and Eastbourne and Wimbledon, over the next three weeks; The RA noticed that certain (Boiing!) people were not wearing Hash Tops: Humper, Abbie and (shock of shocks) LasVegas were duly paraded in the Circle; Next came Bart, for saying that the Hares could have saved time by using the trail from two weeks ago! Dildoh! for excessive trail checking, NozeJob, for excessive clothing changes, and finally Geri, though she did a great job in supplying the beers for Downdowns, but forgot the crisps! OnBouncerOn!
Sun 30-Jun-24 IWH3 2030
The Hare, from Bouldnor View Point car park, was Dildoh! who, in a challenging location, managed a six-mile trail, taking in the old railway line, through to the Causeway, where Oates, was on hand for a BeerStop; and from there, up to and past the Red Lion, past Kings Manor Fm, Saltern Wood, crossing over Yarmouth Bridge, and OnInn to the start. The walkers managed a comfortable 4.75 ml. The RA gave a Downdown to the Hare, for a great Trail - noting that she had a constant problem with her bra-strap, which threatened over exposure! Up next was Stuntman, a welcome returnee from Welsh Wales; The RA then called up Winalot, for it being his birthday last week - but Bouncer had mixed him up with Snowman, who was not there! - the GM made Bouncer have one as punishment! SoggyBottom was next, for disclosing part of the Trail, before we had even started. NozeJob was called into the circle, for over-excessive lateness: (The runners were a good two miles into the trail, when he passed the walkers; on asking Bouncer if he had any idea where they had gone, he told him: "at the end of the Cycle path, turn left, and then left onto the footpath, towards Wilmingham Lane WRONG, it was in fact right! But he still managed to come in at the front!). Last up were Busty, Mash and Gis: Gis having dobbed in the aforementioned, for being the Hash's own Red Arrows: the two girls peeling off to the left and the right for a relief stop... OnBouncerOn!
28-30 Jun-24 Away
Not present at Bouldnor were Sod, Coops, Limpit, Stalker, Boycey and Gnasher - who'd gone off to deepest Cornwall to help celebrate the Truro Hash Fortieth Birthday at Penryn Campus. Being at the top of a big hill, the views were good but the OnInns were hard for those who would not use the frequent bus! A friendly Hash - indeed a lot like our own [why not visit them next time you're down there...]. Saturday's Run bussed up to the north Cornwall coast and Sunday's was in local farmland - but both ending in Breweries! The entertainment was very well planned with us joining the Truro Male Choir; a top local band; a production of "A Midsummer Night's Wet Dream"; and boogying till the early hours. A long way, but stretching our stay from Thursday till Monday gave us more time to sample the local delights.
Chillerton, famed for its spectacular downland views, obtainable after a short walk to the top from the village, this time under the guidance of Bouncer who went south, above Rill and Ramsdown, on a scenic, if gruelling, circuit with at least two climbs. About five miles we reckoned, less for some as we compared notes in the Galleybagger Inn, specially open for the Hash. "Before we start the Downdowns" detailed instructions for Suction's R#n next week - are we getting more geographically challenged as we get older? The RA then gave Bouncer a DD for "an excellent Trail with something for everybody", our Hash Trumpeter then summonsed P-Rick for "arguing with his betrothed" about the exact location of the Venue - of course he was Wrong... Next the "infamous" Stalker who, having been given all-safe terrain to run on, fell over on some waste land; medical assistance was Not given by Nurse Alfred, a well-known "Hash Widdler" for 24 years, who came to grief herself with "The Revenge of the Nettle" - and Haberdash was back up now after confusing Alfred's Real and Hash Name; Major Celebration now as JimJams finally got his 250 Run Top (so late, it read "300 Runs"!); The Spare Beer then went to Sweater, noted by Busty to have "vanished in a small stream"; and cartographic whizzkid Bart who, given sight of the Route, went all the way up to a lineout saying "I thought we were turning left!"
Sun 14-Jul-24 IWH3 2032
Bouncer was at the Walk the Wight car park, at the back of Carisbrooke Castle, to Report on Suction's Run: A reduced motley crew, of mixed runners and walkers, turned up for an excellent Trail, heading out towards Mountjoy, then right down Nunnery Lane to Watergate Fm, then right through Marvel Copse and Copse lane to Whitecroft Fm, turning left on Sandy Lane, and then right on the footpath to Gatcombe/Chillerton main road. From there right then left, past Hill Fm, and out towards Garstons, we then turned right, down Dark Lane and OnInn to the start. 4.25mls for the walkers and nearer 6 for the runners. The Circle, started by the RA, calling up Hare Suction, who was joined by FriendlyFire, who bemoaned, at the fact that at Every Fishuke (of which there were plenty), he had to run to the back of the Pack, which were walkers, and Every Time it was Mutiny and hounds loitering at the back. It is a Well Known Hash Fact that the Runners do not need to run to the back of the walkers, but Hey Ho!. To add insult to injury, Mutiny, though at the back, managed to get to the beer stop, before FriendlyFire! Next up were visitors, in the form of Arseover and DoggieBag, also (I believe is a first, tell me if I'm wrong) was DoggingOnTheBeach, whose Mother Hash is Mijas, Spain, who was looking out of his window as we ran past, and joined us. Up next, where Gnasher and JimJams, who, after all the publications, managed to go to the wrong car park! JimJams, spectacularly so, that he went back home to check on said venue, and still caught up with us three quarters of the way round! Finally, last but not least, P-Rick, was called into the circle, with Dildoh!, who at the beer circle, noticed that P-Rick was dangling in the breeze! All I can say is that, if you are aware of a certain photo, it's a good job Dippy was absent! ~Bouncer
Sat 20-Jul-24 Bash 094
The annual Coops and Limpit Garden Party began, as usual at Sandown Waterworks, with the Hare, having prepared the Apres, arriving at 11-prompt on his son's electric bike to shepherd the Pack up Brading Down for a customary Port-Stop at Ashey Station. Few, by this time, had cottoned-on to this Trail being identical to one the Hare did some years ago, Groyney commenting that the average Basher's 'Goldfish Memory' would still not relate, as we climbed to Upton, then back past Whitefield Farm, Hardingshute Pond, and St Helens - stopping only to dis-entangle our derailleurs from a mess of mown hay. A variation now, as we crossed the Duver and relaxed at Steve's Bar on the harbourside. Straight back now - with the option of respite in the Wheatsheaf, before lunch Chez Coops. Groyney officiated and thanked the Hares; put flat-racer Shergar "over the jumps"; and welcomed back Martini and Winalot.
Sun 21-Jul-24 IWH3 2033
Very much a "Lost Children" Hash, still being set by Mash from Merstone Station, as part-informed Gis, clutching a map, set us off towards Newport but then across to Chapel Lane. Kicking out, then correcting, a number of checks, our Assistant Hare shot off in the wrong direction, while Hashers did find markings that took them past fields of turf, Perreton Farm, then up into Arreton, touching the Shepherds Trail before stumbling across Oates' Refreshment Waggon at Haseley. JimJams had brought Beckie, Matilda and Ella on bikes, while our Hare wondered at the "Cornucopia of Trails" - at least six different routes - invented by Those That Can't Find Blobs! The Dog Walkers were moaning too - this week about the number of stiles without dog-gates - and Mutiny got this week's Humping Award. Surprisingly, Bushwacker and JimJams did the Real Trail! Then Happy Birthday to FannyMac; Thanks to Leader of the Pack" Gis; and no DownDown for P-Rick who turned up late, didn't pay, and "doesn't like beer anyway!" ~Coops
Wed 24-Jul-24 VLFM 271
Thanks to Stalker for entertaining us from The Propeller Inn Bembridge with a Trail that led down the road to Centurions Copse, back up the end of the Down, weaving around a bit before descending to Hillway and OnInn. A mis-lead attempt by 'Trail Perver' BeerPump failed miserably as the Pack were actually On the Trail! RA, Sweater, also called up BirthdayGirl Speedy; then ComeALot, who'd left the Castle last month before the Vindaloo Award; Dippy pointed out that Sweater was presenting young ladies with flowers on the Down - and these were poisonous!; then Virgins: Jane brought Miles; then the Hare.
Sun 28-Jul-24 IWH3 2034
Our before-unused venue, reported Bouncer, was Northwood Cricket Club, the Hares being, BeerPump, Propshaft and Dipstick. From the Off, we, being the walkers, headed off towards Gurnard and the runners, according to Sweater, did three laps of the Cricket Club, then headed off towards Gurnard as well. Arriving at the Woodvale, it was along the sea wall, to Mornington Road car park, where Oates had set up the very welcoming Beer Stop, then on to Cowes Marina, specifically the 'Ale for Sale Stand', all in all, a very good day had by all. Down Downs went to Hares; to Oates, for giving Dipstick a shandy, when he wanted a beer and Sweater for bemoaning the fact that he ran around the Cricket Ground no less than three times, when there was absolutely no need to! ~OnBouncerOn
26-28 Jul 24 Away
The twenty fifth ISCA H3 Roman Awayday weekend was attended by a Legion of Wight Hashers, numbering PoorSod, Snowman, Coops, Limpit, P-Rick, Stalker, Geri and Hooker. Events included a charity Red Dress Run around the Devon village of Topsham; a bus, boat and train extravaganza around the village of Branscombe and Exmouth, and a muddy hangover run. Most of us stayed extra days to take in the local area on bus trips, bike rides, and curry houses!
Sun 4-Aug-24 IWH3 2035
A Virgin Trail for JobInHood, as Lead Hare from the Shorwell Social Club. A loop, well designed to confuse, led around the rec and back to the path up to the ridge above the cemetery. Then back down again to the village. While the Long Run scattered over Foredown, the Shorts did a circuit of Northcourt - that's apart from the large group misled up to Newbarn Farm. Surprisingly, we all got back about the same time and quickly joined the queue for the Club Bar. The RA thanked our Hare, together with assistants Mark, Fagin and Dodger. Up too was BullsEye as Preparer of the Food; then a birthday toast to Hash Founder Albert Stephen Ignatius Gispert; birthdays too for Dippy, Sweater and BullsEye; P-Rick had brought Louise, after "accosting the RA" to tell him, up with returnees Lippy (the only faller), SlyC, Amanda and Headbanger; then Gisbo (note the 'b') nominated three 'DidWells' Sweater Shergar and Beerstop Oates; with such cheap beer, the DDs continued with P-Rick spotting Dippy's dog "weeing on her shoe", the Hare "scattering flour over the Pack", Poubelle "prancing like a pony" and yet still more...
Sat 10-Aug-24 Bash 095
Geri and Hooker's Bash started with echoes of last month as we soon met a well-defined check on the road to Lake from Morrisons. With a checked loop around Lake Green, it was checking off to Adgestone, then Alverstone via the Hide, and an attempt at a Downs Climb that only got as far as Kern and then Knighton. Here, of course, is a very simple climb (for some) up to our first stop at The Pointer. Refreshed, we took the track to Watery Lane then Bathingbourne before the more hardy visited Freemantle Gate on our way to Wroxall. A simple ride back, stopping only for Port & Shortbread on our way to Lower Hyde and the track back to the start, where we reassembled at the Merrie Garden.
Sun 11-Aug-24 IWH3 2036
"A Ryde Pub please, and it'll be an A to B R#n - but you can get the bus back!" So spake Rambo, planning his Trail for the latest WLH3 visit, ending up with the choice of the High Park Tavern. It wasn't long into the Trail along Springvale when we realised that the bus back was indeed the once-per-hour No8. Undismayed, we continued past the Wishing Well towards Bullen, then did a left turn to meet Oates and the Beer at Nettlestone. The Longs continued over towards Hill Farm and then back via West Green. The Shorts unofficially took the road past the Church, then through a seven foot high sweetcorn field to come out just behind the Vine Inn (which apparently was 'B').
Most had time for a Pint while the less speedy gathered at various scattered bus stops on the way back. At this point, most of the London Crowd announced that they were living down the road - and were booked on an afternoon ferry! Maybe they were young and didn't have Bus Passes what like most of us had! Back at the HPT, there were enough for the RA to do DDs, and Hare, Rambo, stood up to admit doing it without help: "I can point out some people who hindered me..." - we found a London song for him. After Fagin explained the Olympic Festivities next week, Gis was up "A year older and a little wiser!"; We celebrated three Virgins: Angela, John and Renata; Then, at no extra cost, we introduced the Haberdash, P-Rick, presenting a top to Nozey: "250 R#ns, but not all On Trail!"; Remaining Londoners, FreshlySpewed, GingGang and Testy were up for "not being used to return to Point A, without the Tube"; Busty dobbed BeerPump for "Denying the True Trail"; and a big Welcome Back to Jogging Fracas "trying to look inconspicuous"! ~Cwps
Sun 18-Aug-24 IWH3 2037
The second Hash Olympics in the modern era. A mixed gender of around 30+ Hashers met at Calbourne Community Centre, where the Hares for today were DilDoh! and Suction. The RA had barely mentioned 'Marathon', when Mutiny was taken unwell, but is reported to be progressing and due back soon. The first Event of The Games, was, a near three mile R#n, heading out to the rear of Calbourne Mill, down to Normans Corner, on the edge of Newbridge, then back to Westover Farm. From there it was left and left again, then turning right up through Barrington Row (Winkle Street), and back to the car park, where Oates, was waiting with the Shandy Bucket. From there, we made our way to BullsEye, Fagin and Dodger's Abode, where The Games started in earnest. It was Male against Female, in a variety of competitions, from Egg-Catching, Last Hat in the Circle, Welly Wanging and Three-Legged Races. All the while, the GM and RA, were overseeing, looking for cheaters and other miscreants, to send to The Stocks, where they were severely punished with wet sponges. Part-way through The Games, a Time-Out was taken, were, we where suitably fed, by a great plethora of various foods, supplied by BullsEye, Debbie, Curly and LoadingBay, and also the Downdowns were dished out: The first of which was for the Hare Suction, followed, by what should have been the visitors Lyn (Navigator ex Wessex), Collen and PussyGalore, but the RA was so late in getting around to the DDs, they had left! So he had One for them. Then Dippy & Busty were summoned: Dippy stepping into a huge cowpat, and Busty doing extra running to go back and talk to the cows; Buttercup, for shouting out "PETROL!" for cars that were half a mile away; and Jibbers for using the RA's notebook for medical notes! Then Gisbert for stepping out in front of traffic - that Bushwacker was trying to stop. Finally, we had our Hosts and Food Suppliers up for a well-deserved Round of Applause for their Hard Work: BullsEye, Debbie, Dodger, Curly, LoadingBay and Fagin - A fantastic fun-time was had by all, Roll On 2028 - when the Men may have recovered from being Beaten by the Women! ~OnBouncerOn!
Wed 21-Aug-24 VLFM 272
Jubilee Car Park Calbourne - Bart
Sun 25-Aug-24 IWH3 2038
The End of August and time for the Annual P-Rick and Busty "At Home" Barbecue. Starting from the Steam Railway Car Park it was off down Gravel Pit Road, then over into Palmers. At this point, the Longs correctly turned into Brocks Copse, but the trailing Shorts just kept going towards the sea. Nevertheless, all got back to the Woodies and supped until the Signal was given to move to the Venue. Bloody Marys awaited us as we filed into the garden for our Treat. And Well Done to our Hosts again for a Splendid Apres! The RA was quite verbose as we welcomed MKH3 visitors; then the R#n, which not only lost the Shorts, but lost DoorKnob, Shocker and Noze in the direction of Newport; we welcomed back RobRoy, together with a recovered Mutiny; Gis (and others) missed multiple fishukes (who wouldn't?); Up next the Hares; then, as we had enough beer (and time...) Busty was back up with DB for "Bitchin' in the Kitchen!"; and finally thanks for Curly's puddings before we sat back, ate on, and listened to P-Rick's "Littletown Blues".
Sun 1-Sep-24 IWH3 2039
"Be inventive with Hash Locations" is always HareRaiser's exhortation - and very well done to Gottla for coming up with a remote field at Sticelet Farm Gurnard. And What A View! All the way down into Thorness Bay and beyond... When our injured RA eventually got the Pack away from the View, our Hare gave simple instructions: "If you don't want Long, don't do it!" And off we went, down to Whippance Farm, then across the road and up and up towards the Forest. A welcome leg beneath the shady trees of Parkhurst gave respite from the hot and humid conditions of the open Trail. Then Hillis Gate and up to Pallance Farm before Rew Street and paths back. An Excellent Trail agreed all, in an area not so frequently visited. Beer, crisps and picnics followed as we prepared to attend to LoadingBay, substitute for our injured RA: Family First, and Poubelle was up for a Continental "All You Can Eat" where she ate the spoon; meanwhile, P-Rick was noted for being "unusually gentlemanly" giving assistance to Gnasher; then the Hare was thanked, together with "didn't do much" FannyMac; up next MaBaker and Mutiny for "dogs devouring animal remains"; and finally, to use up the Beer, Shergar and Poubelle were "fishuke abusers", while Winalot was a "Stile Bandit".
30-Aug - 1-Sep Away
PoorSod was there to report on the BOGS H3 2024 'ASS Weekend' in Somerset:
Arrive; pitch tent / posh campervan; A scramble across ploughed fields to a Pub with a return in the dark. Saturday, an A-to-B Run with a bus to Bath:. 14 miles for runners, 10 for walkers to include; six Pubs, a mile-long tunnel, and lots of lovely hilly countryside. Four walkers took a wrong turn and ended up three miles away in a wrong pub but were kindly retrieved by car and delivered back to the correct pub for lunch. The last leg was enjoyed in a heavy thunderstorm with most runners taking a dip in the river back on site. Sunday, a not-so-long ramble to a pub for lunch. Most evenings were spent around camp-fires with delicious food, cooked on site, washed down with plenty of booze. Great fun and well worth a visit, I think Yeovil next year? ~PoorSod
Sun 8-Sep-24 IWH3 2040
Probably our first visit to Holliers in Shanklin. A solo Virgin Trail for Beaver, having an absent ButterCup, led us through town to Batts Copse then out to Upper Hyde for refreshments. A rather confusing route through America Woods got most back onto the cyclepath, and somehow back. A show of hands was taken and the Trail was voted 'Excellent'! Up first was Noze - the only one who was "Not Lost in the Woods"; then, surveying the local architecture on this "Heritage Trail" was local boy Winalot for whom, sadly, no commemorative blue plaque was found; Fracas was looked after by "Mother Goose" Sweater; Our Virgin Hare was then Up, sharing a DD with Landlady of our Virgin Venue, CarrieAnn; then the story of a "Certain Hasher", PoorSod who, representing our sporty trail-finding club at BOGS of Somerset, missed all the Markings, went three miles off-course, and sat in a Pub until collected.
Sat 14-Sep-24 Bash 096
A MrT Bash from Wroxall, later dobbed as "Death by Bridleway", linking up all the more difficult bits of trail on the way to Shorwell. Up to Freemantle, then past Sainham to Sheepwash and Bagwich. Avoiding the Chequers, we took a track that had a stile in it to avoid a road closure - a few of us got quite fit handling the electric bikes! We emerged onto a road at Roslin, where tyres started to shed all the cow poo collected in the last field! The next insult was Chillerton to Shorwell via Sheard's Ridge Path. And Finally a Pint! And kindly Groyney got in the chips as a reward for all our efforts, giving DDs to: Limpit losing an argument with a wasp; Virgins JimJams & Miriam losing each other; and Fagin going to a Stylish Marriage, so couldn't get to the Bash On Time! The way back to the Griffin was no easier, taking in Dungewood Lane, a very degraded Ashbridge Lane, and more stiles!
Sun 15-Sep-24 IWH3 2041
A Trail from local boy Stalker, where we welcomed Flossing back as long-lost Returnee. Most made it through PigLeg Reserve towards the mud by Smallbrook Station and up and across the main road to Bullen. The return was via Truckles and Whitefield, losing most of the non-runners. Apres we assembled in EyeTie's delightful garden for lunch and sins: RA was Bouncer, assisted by friends: Sodders kicked off by admiring LasVegas and DirtyBum's smart shoes; Then Shergar had spotted Suction "Horse whispering"; DirtyBum had only just finished her last DD, when the RA caught her back on her phone; Suction was now to the fore and presented frequent visitor MagnumPI with her long-service Hash Shirt; Sukkers thought Poubelle was a little out-of-order by describing one Check as a bit of diarrhoea; BeerPump, who'd not paid, was clocked as "Perving the Trail again, but taking us on a longer route!"; JimJams gave a short lecture on "the importance of carrying an emergency telephone number in your underpants"; P-Rick was delayed at the start, not only by PPincest but by the urgent need to post a Poo Sample; And Finally, as Sukkers gave credit to our RA for "Resilience", we gave a rousing cheer to our Host EyeTie.
Wed 18-Sep-24 VLFM 273
BeerPump and NozeJob laid a Trail from somewhere up the Ventnor Road, near Luccombe, ascending to the Downs before refreshments in Harry's Bar.
Sat 21-Sep-24 GNSR 011
Well done to all who took part in the Trail - or parts of it! And a Special Thanks to those who laid the Trail, and who shepherded us all throughout the Day,
Sun 22-Sep-24 IWH3 2042
Bouncer took us back to Shorwell Village Hall. A lot of minor footpaths in this area - but they can get a bit leg-stretching further away. Leaving the village from Fine Lane, behind Wolverton, joining Doctors Lane, and a circuit of Samber Hill (50m). For those doing the Long Leg down to Atherfield, Refreshments awaited before return via the end of Dungewood Lane and OnInn by way of Corve Hill and into the rather cosy club room at the Village Hall, looking longingly at BullsEye's sandwiches... Calling to Order, the RA paused, then remembered that He was the Hare, though didn't explain why, each time he referred to his Trail, it was a different length! We cheered the "Rubbish Trail" anyway. Then up came TwistedSista, occasional resident and soon back to Oz. Mash was called for her Lost and Found mug for which she and Gis blamed each other for the whole session; we welcomed MrPerfectionist, Eyore and BreathlessSlug who'd shot off to Last Week's venue before arriving late; Other visitors were OneInTheEye (for whom P-Rick gave a credible demonstration of how not to do checking hand-signals) and TailEnd (joined P-Rick as fallers) from BarnesH3; then OldLegover from BristolGreyhounds H3; Busty had just returned from Pole Dancing in the PrinceOfWales, PoorSod had again led many astray, and then Wormy who'd had a sonic bowel experience behind a hedge; And Finally Thanks to The Staff, and to BullsEye's Food!
Sun 29-Sep-24 IWH3 2043
A very inventive choice of Location from Bart meeting us up at the stub end of Undercliff Drive. Here, the Island is stuck endlessly in the Victorian Age, with little disturbed by progress - apart from the odd Landslip... All well planned, but we did see, shortly before the OnOff, BeerPump vanishing down the road with a piece of chalk! A simple circuit with woodland, added loops, mostly over wet slippery rocks and undergrowth, and a visit to spooky Spider Cave. Up the Cripple Path, then spectacular views back along and down from the clifftop to the old station and On to the refreshments. Moving quickly to the Legion Club, and some excellent Rev James, the Circle "started in the Usual Way" with the first DDs going to our Hare and his Assistant for a taxing trail of "Four Bart miles"; and with the early departure of a mis-guiding HappyFeet, the Sin went to Geri for "Misleading the Hash on the Correct Trail..."; Poubelle then dobbed a "really rather dumb" Shergar for failing to find the footpath out of a Cul-de-sac; Shergar chipped in with one for Noze, apparently creeping up behind a little old lady on the cliff-edge; we then found that Barbara thought that Bouncer's trail trace "looked like a willy" - and also that she doesn't like BeachBoys songs; Bart congratulated Mash for spotting "we've been this way before!" - but the DD went to "Don't Listen" Gis; we welcomed back "No Pint, No Downdown" Snowman; and finally, Limpit gave thanks that Our Hash Trail was blessed, not only with Saints and Holy Wells, but also with an astute Religious Adviser.
October is with us, and a notably warmer-clad Hash assembled at Goddards Hale Common for an impromptu Trail from Geri. Straight out the back, and through a Newchurch football match, led us through the greenhouses, Macketts Lane, then the Hare tried to lose the Pack at Bathingbourne in a sweetcorn field that was as high as an elephant's eye. Sipping a delightful pint of GSB, we relaxed on the balcony and heard RA, Shergar, give an In-Depth Analysis of User Data Feedback - and we voted "Rubbish!" - Oh Well... but we still cheered our Hare and Assistant Shergar; Virgins were David & Sarah and much use was made of the infamous Shergar Joke Book; There then followed a lengthy, and hopefully amusing, Coops story of the sad tale of PoorSod's forgotten bike-lock combination - joined by Stalker, back from Turkey Hashing, who'd spotted Sodders using a walking stick to jump the passport queue at the airport, and "identified as his Carer"; First back Noze "Didn't do the sweetcorn bit"; then we used up the water with Gis musing "I can't stop thinking about Hashing": finding a "De-Stalker" at the Vineyard, and then finding an Irishman telling Shergar's jokes!
10-13 Oct-24 Other
And some, including a large mainland contingent turned up for the BeerPump 'Buses and Find Beer' Weekend, based at Shanklin, with entertainments up the east coast of the Island, including bike rides, quizzes, dinners - oh, and buses and beer.
Sat 12-Oct-24 Bash 097
With the absence of many key Bashers, a much reduced Pack met up at Peddlars for breakfast, from whence a number of different routes were found to Havenstreet for the Beer Fest. JimJams and Philthy attempted the planned Trail up St Georges (failing at the final ascent), while the remainder took visitor Software on a more-roady route via Adgestone and Nunwell.
Sun 13-Oct-24 IWH3 2045
It was indeed the Autumn Beer Fest at Havenstreet Railway but, more importantly the Birthday of our Old Retainer, PoorSod, Hare for the Day, assisted by a rather frustrated visiting Hare, Dongle. With added numbers from our Bus Lovers, it was a full Pack on our Grand Tour of Combley. Where necessary, permission was gained for access over private paths - but not until after the Trail was laid! Still we got around Combley Farm and into the Wood without being shot at, returning for quick access to the Beer Barn. Grabbing tables and Downdown Beer, our RA celebrated the Hares; then Sodders again as we'd forgotten his Birthday; thanks for raising the IW Profile, to Pump, who added praise for Lonely who'd been DJ last night; unsurprisingly, Sodders was in the Circle again, this time with his co-Hare wailing about the age and inaccuracy of the Map! Guest RAs now, and Dongle gave a DD to "really rather dumb..." Pump whose dog had been worried by sheep. We then had ShrinkyDink who'd noted FlyingDoctor using "the men's weeing bush"; and to ECGarden had thought white shoes appropriate for wet woodland. Worzel told an amusing story about the Hasher who brought a seat for his Harriette, but she chose the bench "because You can't get it up fast enough!"; Rambo entertained us, citing a "Badly Behaving" Pump, then presented the "Loving Partnership Award" for the Weekend; Bika nominated Nellie and TurnUpTony for good behaviour on the Train, but an innate inability to open the door at the Station; Dippy had Pump back for "leaning out of the window on the Train" and, on the Trail, Sweater, ever helpful, had called "Petrol!" for a Tesla which had crept silently up behind us. And as the Circle was honoured by the appearance of retired RA, MrMagoo, over a Beer, the ageing PoorSod commented that "some of the Buses were well over 70 years old" - so not that old then...
Wed 16-Oct-24 VLFM 274
DoorKnob High Park Tavern
Sun 20-Oct-24 IWH3 2046
With Storm Ashley doing its utmost to disrupt many sporting events along the south coast, including the GSR, the Hash had its own acronym BSR (BeerPump's Shiggy Run). Starting from The Holliers Hotel, the pack headed out on a live trail laid by BeerPump and JD, through Big Mead, passing the pond, climbing up to Shanklin Down Trig point, then down back through Languard and On Inn. Shergar wanted the RA to start the downdowns, by giving the Hare an empty glass, for there being no flour on the trail to follow, this was followed by giving BeerPump an actual beer. Gisbert was up next, celebrating 1000 R#ns, followed by Geyser a welcome returnee. Alfred then suggested Bart should have a downdown for telling her that he had an app on his phone that vibrated when he was orientating! And suggested he should do a vibrating hash! BeerPump took over to give JD a downdown: for as quick as he was laying the trail JD was eating the flour. NozeJob called BeerPump up for lost property (a jacket he left at the hotel at our last visit). There is an old saying according to PoorSod (he should know) that you can't tell stork from butter - this saying was aimed at Philthy, who couldn't tell flour from tinfoil! The RA, then got walkers Bouncer, PPincest, Philthy and Mutiny up for following the Trail given to Bouncer by Gis, to Shanklin trig point - this in fact was not the trail the Hare used, it was a false trail! Lastly Busty was called front and centre, for having an allergy to Park Runs, but is fine with Hashing, to our relief. ~On Bouncer On
Sun 27-Oct-24 IWH3 2047
There's been sillier ideas for a Hash but someone worked out that a lot of us were born in 1962 - and hence formed the germ of an idea to have a "6.2 in '62 Hash". With Overners, well over Fifty gathered outside the Portland Inn, Gurnard, with a "YingTong" welcome back to our GM from Japan. And most got the clock change right! "It's Six-Point-Two Don't trust your FitBit" said the RA before handing over to Hares Arsy, Doggie, Curly & Oblivs. Other people to blame, included sixty-something year-olds BDK, Cloggs, Dildoh!, FlyingDoctor, Gis, Groyney, Noze & Suction got commemorated on the TShirt. We set off on not only an Urban Tour of Cowes but also Llamas, Alpacas and Sheep, most unusual on housing estates! Some reached Medham Old Church before turning back and giving the Bar a steady stream of thirsty stragglers. Inevitably, these different Hashers returned with reports of different Trails - and Prime among these was mis-leading P-Rick who beat the usual suspects into "Trail Perver of the Week". The dry tarmac and the linked-up local paths got Fracas to exclaim "That was much better than last week" (probably due to the lack of mountainous ascents up mud-chutes). Still we had the customary Vote and it was still "Rubbish!" - with most reckoning that those FitBits were reporting Eight Point Two miles! Then the RA, a '52 baby, got all up for "Hashy Birthday!". Trail Sins now, and Alfred attacked Tumbler: "You left the car lights on", while Coops had woken up in the light only to blame the alarm for not going off (it was 6:15GMT); Busty welcomed back Headbanger and Amanda (Lakes), the latter complaining of being "a Sherpa", getting the appropriate naming Packhorse! StirFry and Goose were up representing younger Visitors, introducing young Orlagh to the Circle; Sweater brought RussellB ; Pump had New Shoes; and we learnt that Beaver had overdosed on Prosecco at the first BeerStop, carrying the over-full glass for the rest of the Hash! ~Coops
Thu 31-Oct-24 Other
Sweater's Grand Halloween Hash R#n from the Man In The Moon, Newport, was a free, urban, no DDs Hash set to encourage new runners to the Hashing Style. A novel effort and Well Done!
Sun 3-Nov-24 IWH3 2048
HHHi Di HHHi! and the RA introduced The Holiday Camp R#n by Hare, and new Fairway Resident, PoorSod, aided by local boy Coops, and inspiring the return of Stalkie and Cowpat. In the words of the immortal Hare, "It's not a Sport, Rodney, it's an Entertainment!" - and indeed it was, with the Pack being kept guessing up and around Jeals Lane before we turned and splashed our way across the Marshes to then ascend from Adgestone.
Having gained enough ascent to warrant a Viewpoint, we dropped back into Kern and Alverstone where unsurprisingly we met the Beer Wagon - "The Runners' Refreshments" explained Oates to some enquiring Residents. Then there was more, with mudbaths, boardwalks and golf courses before our return to McCarthy's Bar. No Real Ale unfortunately, but we survived with the Hares up first, gagging on rather chilly glasses of 'Forged Stout'. Coops then gave broad thanks to those coming back to the Hash and Running, highlighting a certain Fracas who's now running well but not that fast "But they still have to fishuke back to me!". Then PoorSod forgetting his own Trail in Adgestone: "Do you know the way to Amarillo"; Shergar aka "Bob The Builder" got dobbed for admiring a digger; Token Faller was Stalker; Sweater had well done for the Halloween Run, a good Theme Evening attracting six non-hashers. It was then time for the Gourmands to take the excellent Sunday Lunch, and an even more exclusive group went back for drinkies at Sodders' new Bijou Abode.
Sun 10-Nov-24 IWH3 2049
Remembrance Day Hash was from Arreton Barns overspill car park; the Hare was Sweater, taking the Trail to Stickworth, then Horringford and Heasley. Downdowns, at the Hare & Hounds, started with birthday cake supplied by Busty for the GM, NozeJob and the newly-named HappyEnding (Tahny). The Hare was up next, followed by a very rare and welcome Stretch. Curly was called up for cheating (driving around on Saturday to spy on the Hare). Stretch called up Sweater for saying Stretch "looked like a Good Hasher", and then Buttercup for saying that Stretch should do the GNS R#n; Nosey for doing a non-existent fishhuke (courtesy of Oates). Fagin was called up for being a virgin fishuker, and for searching for groats (or was that gropes!) and Busty for not being a winner; HappyEnding and StiffenUp were named by the RA; When orange-shirted Curly was called up, the GM thought it appropriate that All Orange Shirts should drink, up up came the RA, Nosey and Oates; joined by Mutiny for using a phone in the Circle. ~OnBouncerOn
Wed 13-Nov-24 VLFM 275
Gisbo from the Kingston Arms Cowes
Sat 16-Nov-24 Bash 098
Groyney's Goddards Brewery Trail led us south along Macketts Lane but soon coming back through Budbridge to Port at the Cycleway. The Weak proceeded direct to the Bargemans, while the more adventurous ascended St Georges to enter Newport via Burnt House Lane. Anyroadup, we all got back, and just in time for lunch!
Sun 17-Nov-24 IWH3 2050
Gottle, with help and encouragement from FannyMac. from Parkhurst Main Car Park. We set off on a muddy track, expecting our usual woodland jaunt, only to get much muddier down towards the prison before crossing the road south - surprising with no rain for weeks. Reports came back of sightings of Sainsburys and also of finding Oates at Victoria Park. Retiring to the Ambassador, the Circle started with an appropriate Cake for Gottle; Geri then related "I was using my Bumbag for tissues" but, some way round the Hash, she discovered that the RA had been adding to their number... "I thought I recognised the snot!"; The RA next: P-Rick was caught complaining about Oates' beer choice - "Beggars and choosers" come to mind here; The RA then noted that Gis was a "Basket Weaving Case", this activity apparently delaying the fee collection such that Limpit and the GM had to leap in - Gis then drove his non-eco car the couple of miles 'cos he was late! The RA thanked Limpit for a swift stand-in, with Coops who'd gone painting and decorating to avoid the mud. Then Busty nominated the RA and GM. Then a scrummy Lunch, with TheCat taking rapid notes... ~Cwps
Sun 24-Nov-24 IWH3 2051
We squeezed into the Car Park of the Prince of Wales, Osborne, dodging large puddles left over by Storm Bert's recent assault on the Island. Dippy and Beaver then led us down the main road, and across a field to the magnificent St Mildred's Church. From the graveyard, we managed to get back to the river, found the BeerStop, and did varying lengths of Trail and non-Trail, with most to be back on 90m. After the extreme weather came two Extreme Sinners, one outrageous and one not so, both for non-payment of run fees - the culprits being our GM (who blamed husband and personal secretary Oates!); the second was Geyser, who disappeared before being punished; Buttercup was next up, with New Shoes - he duly, and correctly, drank out of them; Busty then dragged Gisbo up, for running around like a spring chicken - Mash said this was due to "too much 'spend energy', for not doing anything since retirement"; We welcomed virgin Sandra to the fold, and then pulled LunchBox and HappyEnding to the circle, for following what they thought were Hash Arrows, but actually were Council road work arrows - the question was, "What did they get up to off trail?", seeing as it turned out they also dragged Stalker along with them! The RA then got Alfred into the circle, for "Dancing in Brest Froth" (sea foam) at Freshwater Bay; but then Bouncer got called up for going up to the Needles, and Gnasher for swimming in the stormy sea - it must also be noted that Alfred threw ice-cold water down Bouncers neck! The GM then called Humper and friends up to the circle for having a great old time on the trail, seeing as they danced most of the way around. And finally, our Hares Dippy and Beaver were called to the circle, for what was a Very Good Hash in challenging terrain! Then Yet Another Lunch - if it goes on like this, we'll have our own gourmet write-up in the County Press!!! ~OnBouncerOn
Sun 1-Dec-24 IWH3 2052
And PoorSod observed the Trail from Fishbourne: 'Live' Hare P-Rick (well that's debatable) disappeared to re-lay the trail due to the heavy rain - a Good Start! W/O ex-pongo Storeman, "Get yet' and outdoer pockets", Pearson had given his orders via WhatsApp, leaving the Pack Stood to Attention outside the RVYC Club to be directed by co-Hare, ex-RAF Nurse and famous bike-wobbler Busty Tripper - what could possibly go wrong? A wet squelchy trail led down Ash lake Copse Lane, across Kite Hill Road and into the muddy mire that was Firestone Copse. A couple of perceptive Hashers, knowing the possible perils that lay ahead, broken bones or, even worse, drowning, decided a cup of coffee in the Copse CarPark was the better option. The return for the Runners was via the Monument and Quarr Abbey, followed by a top-end priced Sunday lunch arriving sometime later in the Clubhouse. P-Rick was also RA for a bit, but that didn't stop him getting four Downdowns, which took the pressure off Busty's Birthday DD! All under the watchful eye of GM Suction who reminisced about the recent Ladies Night, where ButterCup had failed on the pick-up arrangements for a less-than-capable Beaver. And, as Alfred got yet another revenge on Haberdash for that Hash Top Name, Chips pops up and asks "When's Boys Night???"
Sat 7-Dec-24 Party
Holliers Inn Shanklin was the Venue for This Year's Christmas Party. A good, new, and hospitable, place to have our annual Event, this year under the careful calculating eye of Obliviars. Our Theme was "Christmas Colours" - and you can't fail to think of something for that! And thankyou all for bringing your spare change to support this year's Charity, The Veteran. Well done to the organising team, the hotel staff, and to all you for bringing your colours and attitudes!
Sun 8-Dec-24 IWH3 2053
"A Great Turnout after a Good Evening!" opened the RA, after a "Gentle Bartathon" of a R#n washed out the cobwebs following our Christmas Party, ably set up by Oblivs. Local Hare Bart had led us up towards the Old Church but then, out of consideration for Storm Darragh, kept the Trail low, and reasonably dry, ascending Sibden Hill, then crossing to the cyclepath with drinkies at Upper Hyde. The Woods for some, but we all returned alongside Batts Copse in a respectable time. As the Hare was awarded, Stalker remarked that "it was about right for those that did the right Trail". And as for that Dinner, "There was an Incident" - in which we found that Pump had apparently stolen PoorSod's Prawn Cocktail! - these suspects being joined by Host CarrieAnne, our Cheffy for 'PrawnGate', and Laura on the Bar for the "Gwinness Affair". Moving On, we heard that Alfred was "Sniffing Party Poppers", while "unsociable" Tumbler was cocking a leg on the Trail! Best Attire was visiting Dipstick who needed to Get A Life, after "Multiple Costume Changes". Then we had Lunch, which is becoming a bit of a Habit!
Sat 15-Dec-24 Bash 099
Led by Bart from Sandown Station. Under the subway, where most managed to stay on, and around back alleys of Perowne Way before making it towards Alverstone - well most, as Limpit decided to part company with her bike as we passed the waterworks, leading to a quick dash by Coops to get his car for an emergency trip to A&E. Meanwhile the diaspora began and Alverstone chute saw three groups finding around AGV and up to Borthwood, America Woods and eventually the cyclepath back to Shanklin. A splendid Christmas Lunch had been prepared by the capable hands of Lunchie, while RA, Shergar, jokebook and tape measure at the ready, checked that birthday boy Fagin "measured up to the mark" and then went on to harangue Martini for not providing a size for his new Bash Jacket... At this Point, a much-repaired Limpit got back for a late lunch and quick DD, with Coops as ambulance driver. The other non-biker was PoorSod, complaining his arm was "falling apart" - "needs re-cycling" we commented. Then we got Hooker for "overdoing noise", with Lunchie and Bart for The Event, then listened to Bob on guitar, aided by the tones of Lunchie.
Sun 15-Dec-24 IWH3 2054
This one was over to West Wight getting a credible number of Hashers to BeerPump and PropShaft's Trail from Colwell Green. A scenic and challenging Trail following the uneven coast around to Fort Victoria, then over to the West Yar and following the Freshwater Way back down to the tempting Red Lion. Some reported a loop of Golden Hill before cutting back. Apres the Pack gathered their beers and made their way to the Hares' bijou rented Lodge. A good Trail, agreed all over the Hares' generous lunch, and enjoyed by Virgins, locals GrahamM, Matt, Dave & Gemma turning up from West Wight Runners.
Wed 18-Dec-24 VLFM 276
As a near tradition, the Vectis Lunatics Christmas R#n was from the Waverley Carisbrooke, Hare Sweater and taking in all the tacky local Christmas Lights...
Thu 19-Dec-24 SLOBS 011
For the Record, those goodfernuffing retired Hashers got together this year at the Castle Sandown. Using their currently free bus passes, they progressed down to the Volunteer, and from there to a Pensioners Lunch at Spoons Newport. Pausing a while in the Prince of Wales, a Number 9 took them to their final port of call at The Lud Ryde, before home, hot chocolate and bed.
Sun 22-Dec-24 IWH3 2055
We assembled outside the Cowes Ale House for a Trail of some five miles, set by Gis, while most Credit was claimed by BeerPump. Off towards Arctic Road and back around the nicer bits of Town we went, passing the Moorgreen Road Reservoir, Northwood Park, and descending through Mornington Woods to find Oates parked up with the BeerStop and most of the shorter trail punters, just above the Esplanade Toilets. They were busy entertaining local girl Amanda, who'd just popped out for a walk but did admit to "a bit of running". Along and around the Esplanade we went, dodging the high winds which lifted DolDoh's hat causing much excitement to those that chased it. Back at the Ale House, Humper turned up, but only to staff the Bar. Upstairs, the RA celebrated "The Real Hare" Pump; and "The Other One" Gis; then Coops for "mis-odouring" a young lady; for that Hat Chase, DilDoh! for wearing it, Stalker for procuring it, Sukkers for losing it; and Coops for finally picking it up, at great strain to his ageing back; and finally the RA was in it, for trying to "pull a Rank" on the GM.
Sun 29-Dec-24 IWH3 2056
Hares Geri and cycling Hooker had planned the Annual Onesies Hash - as usual from The Castle in Sandown - taking the clifftop to Lake, with optional descent, then back to Lake Station and across to Lake Green. Most found the BeerStop in Perowne Way.
"A Great Turnout" remarked the RA summoning the Hares. Then seasonal Suction up with "Three Wise Downdowns": firstly to Basil, back after some time, but still showing he was "Born to Hash", capably running on from the BeerStop carrying his ale; then again, as we ran up and down the cliff, always being in front - "I short-cutted a bit!"; we had our own Superman, the outfit attracting DilDoh! and Busty "Always eyeing up nice men's bums!". Now the Virgins, and the RA welcomed Clive, Katie and Teddy; next, Busty revealed that "Not all Heroes wear capes", citing Gis, our very own Quik Fit Shi#er, steering all away from the dog's mess; Sukkers had DoorKnob up for "Nice Bum", only to remind him that his Top was still missing, joined by Bouncer who'd done 900 R#ns; DoorKnob was quick to spot 'Superman' Sweater and 'Boy Wonder' Buttercup failing to spot the model train at Lake Station; As to Dress Code, the RA gave no time for non-Onesie people (not even a DD for "No Interest" Jibs!) but Nikita got an award for "supporting the RA back home". With two DDs left, Geri congratulated Bouncer for "Persistence" but gave the beers to Animal Costumed Twins Hooker and Alfred.
The Great Dicktator's 2024 Report:
The 11th Great NorthSouth R#n was another amazing success. Great weather and lots of happy Hashers, Runners and Walkers. One hundred and forty eight took part with the help of ten support crew and nine Hares. Thank you all for your support!
Thank you to our Hares of 2024: LunchBox, Sweater, Cumsalot, Cooperman, Bart, Geri, Stalker, Fagin, BeerPump, DoorKnob & Gisbert!
Shergar reached his 150 Run milestone and Vindaloos were achieved by Cumsalot, NozeJob and WormCharmer. Well done!
And as always, some Stats! The Top Six/Seven Lunatics of All Time with R#n totals over the past three years are as follows:
2022: |
2023: |
2024: |
P-Rick 231 Fracas 224 Cooperman 216 Bart 200 Gisbo 153 Stalker 147 |
P-Rick 241 Fracas 224 Cooperman 219 Bart 208 Stalker 160 Gisbo & Sucktion 158 |
P-Rick 245 (+4) Fracas 227 (+3) Cooperman 224 (+5) Bart 218 (+10) Stalker 171 (+11) Gisbo & Sucktion 166 (+8) |
The all time Top Ten Vindaloo Rankings (*means still current at end of 2024):
Fracas 212, Bart 145, Cooperman 110, Sucktion 64, P-Rick 60, Stalker 42, Sweater 37, Bendover 30, NozeJob 28, Arseova(IOW) 25, Bergerac 24, DoorKnob 23, Numpty 21, DilDoh! 19, Hooker 19, Plaastard 16, Shocker 16, Speedy 15, Cumslot 14, WormCharmer 13*, Bilbo 12, Gisbert 12, JibberingWreck 12, MiniBar 12, PoorSod 12, Streaker 12
On On to 2025!! Sweater!
Happy New Year! |
